Strep, Seasons, Sleep, and Snot

I can't believe it's been a month. I am in a bad mood. I am tired of everyone talking like it's the end of the world. First of all it gives me really bad anxiety and second of all, it's not the end of the world people. Yes I know it's a good thing to be prepared, but really? Do you have to tell me that we quite possibly could die and that we may run out of food? Two of the things I fear most? thanks.

So I have strep. I haven't had strep since I was a young child. If I remember correctly, strep = a shot in the butt. My mama used to bring them home and give them to us in our behinds. But nowadays they just give you horsepills. I would rather have the shot, or at least the pink delicious version of Amoxicillan. Anyway, I am doing so much better and it's only the second dose.

Sadie is crawling. Has been since like 10.5 months. It's so amazing. She has just started eating everything off the floor. The other day it was a crusty piece of cheese. Today it was Tylenol PM. Just kidding. Stale fruit puffs.

Jackson is still speaking jibberish. It's so freaking cute. "deeder deeder, deeder deeder Car." I like what my sister said. She said something about him being super smart or intuitive, so much that he can't get all the words right.

I don't know that I wanna have more kids. Sometimes I think I do but then sometimes I don't. I wish I didn't care what people thought. Because I know if I only have 2, the Mo's are all gonna be like "You selfish peeps". But kids are hard! Some people are naturals. I am not. But my kids ARE cute. I'm thinking of having more just so I can sell them on eBay. Kidding again. The other day David and I attempted Texas Roadhouse thinking the loud atmosphere and dirty floors would be conducive to our kids. Yeah, NO. First of all we had to wait 20 minutes to be seated. It took another hour to get our food. What made it worse was that more than one time both kids were screaming. david took a turn taking Jackson out, I did too. What's really funny is that before we went inside the restaurant I told David I was taking care of Jackson (secretly because I thought that David wasn't disciplining Jackson enough). Yeah, I was completely wrong. It's just this age. There's nothing more to it than that. You're not gonna see David and I out with our kids for probably 4 more years. As soon as we got our food, we asked for boxes. We ate it on the way home. With no forks.

I work for a trash company. It's freakin' hard work! I don't wanna hear it from anyone. We are busy all day long. I love it. It gives me a break from the home time. I sort of feel like it's my season to not be home all day long. Most especially because I come home to a clean house, clean kids and dinner on the table. I can't ask for more (it's my great hubby).

There is so much more to be spoken about. I can't remember it all. I'm thankful to a great family member for reminding me to update this here blog. I appreciate it. I love you all.

A Whole Month

It's actually been so long since I last wrote. Craziness. I don't have anything positive to say. I know right? Don't you hate those kinds of blogs? I thought about not even writing because of that fact, and then I figured what the h? There are plenty of other blogs out there with plenty of positiveness to go around. I can recommend a few if you need.

David has been gone for 4 days. That means I have had the kids for 48 hours and counting. Non-stop. Okay, that's a lie. My sister was here today for a couple of hours. I had to get out and get some power. We are poor and have M-Power. Did I already explain how that works? That means, if our magic box doesn't have some dolla bills on it, then we run out. Plain and simple. I could insert something positive here. When I was at Safeway at the M-Power station someone previous left their receipt for me to find. They had a balance due of $847. That's a lot of money! At least my balance is zero. I am grateful.

So back to complaining about kids. I have a great appreciation for single parents. How do you/they do it? There is no way in H-E-Double hockey stick that I could ever do it. I am dying here. I have come super close to losing it already. I had Jackson crawling on my head, and Sadie in my lap, while trying to talk on the phone. I know I've got nothing on a lot of you mama's and papa's out there, but to me.... that was a little too much. Get off the phone you say? Well then I have Jackson whacking me in the ankle with a piece of closet rod. Sadie is still awake. Jackson is still awake and I am still awake. Ugh. I'm tired. How does one put two kids to bed? Ones that have to be put to sleep? I can't leave Jackson for too long because he barges in, begging for a drink. If I leave Sadie, she screams her freaking head off. I'm about to lose it again. Sadie is doing exactly that. SCREAMING!

Okay. I get it. I sort of just had a "grounding" experience if you will. I got up to get Sadie and she just laid her head on my shoulder and went to sleep. (She also burped extremely loud. Gas anyone?). So I laid on the couch, and Jackson joined us. He laid in/on my legs. Very sweet moment for me. I was forced to just be. Even if it was only for a few minutes. My babies need me. And I need them.

With that, I'll end.

I Don't Have Anything Interesting to Say

I love Target. David came up with a term that he likes to call a "Targasm". Whenever I'm in a bad mood, or stressed out, he tells me to go have a Targasm. And I do. And I come home completely happy and refreshed. Just being there restores my sense of peace and serenity. It's my Zen place.

I was there today and filled up my cart with goodies galore from the dollar bins, and clearance racks. However, I think everyone would be pleased to know that I came home with only a toilet bowl brush and a 6-pack of ribbon (from the dollar bins mind you, and don't worry it was 50% off which means it was only $.50.) Thank you very much. Yeah. I know. It's too bad David doesn't even care, because he would probably be proud.

Wayne Dyer taught me something. He was talking about the law of necessity or something on a C.D. I listen to in my car (thanks sis. See, I listen). Anyway he said, "You don't really need anything. (Long pause). Because you've already proven you can live without it." Or something to that effect. I have started thinking about that lately mostly when I've filled my shopping cart with nonsense. So when I was about to go checkout at Target today, I looked in my basket and decided that I did in fact need the toilet bowl brush because #1 it's making me crazy to sit on my toilet knowing it's super disgusting, and #2 it actually looks discusting. Thirdly, I did need the 6-pack of ribbon because Sadie needs those colors of bows. See. I'm awesome.

Two Funny Stories About My Kids

Story Number 1:

This one time David and I were cleaning out the kitchen. Like any good parent would, we sat our child on the oven. We have one of the completely flat electric ones and she was fussy so it seemed the best option (we also have a small kitchen and it was the only part of the kitchen that was clean). So anyway, she was sitting there enjoying her life. David reached for something out of the cupboard above the oven when all of a sudden, the red pepper flakes fell out. That's fine right? They didn't hit her or anything but they did turn on the oven! You can see where this is going right? Yeah, well it started to heat up and so did she. She started crying and wailing. David caught it in time and she was fine. There is no damage. Not even a little red mark as proof that this happened. Although if you want to call CPS, I understand.

Story Number 2:

Jackson got a hold of the baby powder. The end.

No really, he dumped the entire contents out all over the couch, himself and sissy girl. It was the cutest thing ever. I still haven't cleaned it up because it's sort of nice to have a "soft" floor. It's not going to be nice when someone falls on their butt cause it's actually slippery. I wish I could explain to you how funny it was. I have a picture. I'll share it.

I Have Bad Breath But For Good Reason

We were at Heidi and John's today. Heidi made some awesome mango salsa. I'm afraid it had onions in it. It was well worth the leftover breath though. Mmmmm. Happy Birthday Heidi and Kyrbi.

Sissy girl loved the pool. She sat on the first step and splashed around like it was nobody's business. My sisters child also jumped off the diving board. Very proud of her.

I like the name Eva. David has it written on a piece of paper here near the computer. I wonder if it's my ancestor. Apparently I'm rockin' some pretty sweet great grandpas. They are directly involved with Joseph Smith and Nauvoo and such things. I'll have to have David tell you more about that. One thing I do remember is that J.S. borrowed $200 from my great great (maybe one more great) grandpa. Yup. That's right. So that pretty much makes me famous.

I am in a bitter/angry stage of grieving... about a couple of things. I think about a lot of things actually. I used to not be angry. I used to be at peace. But I'm mad. I'm just so mad. It's kind of strange because I'm also reading Jesus the Christ. I find it to be the most amazing book I have ever read in my entire life. I am learning things I have never even heard in 25 years of being a member of the church. Maybe that's why I'm a bit bitter. Why don't we learn these pertinent important things in Sunday School? I don't know. Anyway, I don't know if people who read this blog appreciate hearing about my hatred of anything church related, but I suppose if they do care, they will tell me. And I like it that way. I won't go into further detail about my other issues since I have already started a different post on that.

OMG. Went to Utah this past weekend. Funnest trip EVER! I felt like a kid again. I love my family. It's my dads side that lives up there. I love my aunts and cousins and grandparents. I seriously think they are the best, funniest, people ever.

I'll post pics. I'm going to get some. Right now. I love you.

To my Man (Jackson that is)

To my sweet little boy,

I love you. Don't grow up anymore please!
A few of the things you are interested in right now:

Cars (the movie), Cars (the toys), Cars anything. You love "nana's" (Bananas), "coo keys", shows, sissy girl, and mom and dad (mostly dad). I love when you say, "Hi ticka ticka girl" which translates as "Hi sissy girl". You are so helpful around the house. You throw away your own diapers, and help with the laundry. You even clean (or attempt to) clean up your own spills. Even if it means smearing it and making it worse. :-) We call you our little Linus because you carry around a soft blanket everywhere. I love that you love to rub silky things between your fingers. You're just like me! I did that too. You give the best kisses ever accompanied with the neccesary "Muah" sound. You love driving toy cars all over, mostly on dad's body. You love the real car too. You always wanna go in the car, and sit in your "chair" which is fabulous for us. You love kitties and dogs. I'm so glad you haven't developed a fear of those. Abby, Bill's dog, only lets you pet her. She barks at the rest of us. You get right in her face and she doesn't even mind. Lucky boy. Sweet boy. You love taking the lids from pots and pans out of the cupboard. You sit on the kitchen floor and spin them around... for long periods of time too! It's so sweet the way you do it. It's not like you are rough and loud with them, you are fascinated by the way they work. "Up" and "Help" are the same words for you. You love getting on the counters and looking in the mirror. You love cheese and applesauce. They are pretty much staples for you. You are my staple!!

I miss the days of snuggling. Although you do let me snuggle you at night. In fact, you have to be touching me before you fall asleep. I can't let go of that!

You even ask nicely for "ginks" (drinks).

Oh goodness. I just love you.


Happy 2nd Birthday!!!

Kind of Hating Everything

My emotional side is out. I hate that I always wanna blog when I'm feeling this way. I suppose it isn't always a bad thing.

I'm touched by how many people there are in the world that actually feel the same way I do about the church. At first I thought I was alone. I'm totally not. I have sort of gravitated myself to some blogging communities I feel really close to. I am mostly a reader right now and hopefully in the future, I'll be a writer(commenter) as well. For now, I'll stand back.

I'm working on a post to explain in detail those feelings I mentioned about my situation in the LDS world. For now, don't you worry.

Tonight, I was speficially touched by a man who is an openly gay active member of the church. He blogs about his convictions about the truthfulness of the Gospel. He has such a strong testimony. He is facing excommunication. For some reason, those two things are oxymorons to me. That's all I will say on that topic. I could further delve into my hatred for the guidelines the Church has to follow, but I won't. I realize that such matters are beyond my scope of knowledge which is the only solace I find in such situations. Regardless of sexual orientation, I can tell from reading only a few posts that he is a GREAT person. And the God I know, loves him and will not punish him for that.

That's all. I am going to make a post about Jackson now. So random. I love everyone.